Confessions of a Former HamburgerJunkie

Digestible Terms

2010-04-17T10:19:00.000-04:00

Why is it that the term Wiccan is more accepted then the term Pagan?
You tell someone you are pagan and they turn away. You tell them you are wiccan and they grin and keep talking.
I don't get it.   What makes being Wiccan more publicly digestible then being Pagan?

On the same vein, I visited this great blog just after Easter. Someone who I had been following for months, who had been following me, and I replied to their post.   They were very out right Christians, who in their own comments used the word God to describe their destiny. Which they have every right to do.   I was very much agreeing with the theme of their post, and commented. I used the term Universe an not God.   Still being respectful without tipping on that I am Pagan, as I have not said so on that network. The comment never got published. As far as I know it either got deleted or is still in wait.   She has removed herself from my follow list, has not returned any comments lately and I know she blogged yesterday as I still follow her blog.    And yes it's a mommy blog, but a really great one.

(well I just used the term Wiccan today on another blog comment in that network so we'll see what reactions I get)

So I had this vision

2010-04-12T12:48:00.000-04:00

Over a year ago I had a vision. I was in a parking lot with friends and at the end of the lot was the back of a building. A group of men were standing at a door of this building, and I could only see one of them, the others were blocked by my friends. One of my friends in this vision said to me point blank "it's ----- it's always been him." We were standing beside an old red truck from the 1940's.
I had talked to my friend a few days after that vision and he laughed saying he did indeed own a red truck but it was very modern. But the second I told him about the guy he said "I know, but I am not allowed to tell you what I know." He is a Wiccan who has been studying astral energy working for the last few years.

About a month later, I had another vision. I was at an event and one of my favourite celebrities walked up in this vision, and I asked for a photo. In this vision it was more the feeling then the images that stood out. The feeling of comfort, like it was more then just a fan photo but a friendship.
I told my friend the High Priestess about this one, and she said the man's name before I was finished telling it. Before I got to the part of him even walking up to me in the vision. Her reply was "I got a chill at the image of him. He's the One." She's never been wrong with her predictions.

I just had a dream, where a group of guys were talking and doing an interview, and the celebrity walked up to disrupt everything. He was dressed in black and simply said "Why are you so shocked?" The feeling from the dream was the same as the vision I had the first time with the red truck.

When I watch this celebrity do interviews, I have this overwhelming feeling that he's suppose to be my best friend. Crazy, maybe but true. I get a comforting feeling from his voice and an extreme familiarness from him.
Am I loosing it, or is there something else that I need to pay attention to?

Do you have a kitchen alter?

2010-04-11T12:07:00.003-04:00

I'm asking because I am needing to create one and am totally unsure of ideas.

I asked the advice of my friend the High Priestess, but her advice was "what speaks to you".
Well, that's the issue, what speaks to me is a mass of confusion. My gut reaction is to go with a goddess who has nothing to do with being domestic or food.

That is another issue, I do not usually connect with goddesses; I seem to connect with gods.

Kitchen Deities, icons, alters. Does anyone have any thoughts?

When the music's over

2010-04-05T15:37:00.000-04:00

Quoting the Doors for that title.

The universe has been pushing me in one direction now for the last few years, to only hit me with a the largest brick wall ever.
I found out some information today that has shattered a possible path in my life. I have to ask, why would the Gods/Goddesses lead me down this path in this southward direction to suddenly lock the door in my face?
What was the point of leading me on only to say "nope sorry not for you" ? I am left with nothing but having to turn back northward and start over.
No I am not going to explain what the situation was. Just putting out the question, why would the universe direct you one way when that direction was just not for you to begin with?

My intuition has ring rust

2010-03-04T12:49:00.004-05:00

I've made it no secret that I like my men like I like my tag teams Young and from Detriot.
I've also said a million times I prefer guys with pale skin, around my height, short dark spiky hair and brown eyes.
Of course there are no guys in this city that are anywhere near single, straight and my type.

So here I was sitting in my pajamas, not showered for the last two days, had not brushed my teeth or anything having a coffee when there was a knock on my door. I opened it thinking it was the landlord coming for rent.
What I found standing there was someone from city hydro to let us know that the new hydro meters were in effect. He had pale skin, was around my height, with short dark spiky hair and chocolate brown eyes.

Oh my god!

I had been having odd vibes this morning of something going to happen. I just put it off to being nervous about the fact my editor is ripping apart my novel. I paid no attention to the vibes. I wish I had, cause I would have at lest brushed my teeth.
I had heard the landlord's daughter in the hall talking to someone, but I figured it was the downstairs neighbour.

Anyway, the hydro rep asked to come in, which is something I never do. No one gets in my apartment, so why the hell did I let him in? Not too sure. He went to sit on my sofa and was drawing attention to his hair. Yes his hair. Within the first minute he made two references to his hair, and started to ask if I had kids. I said no, then he started to talk about his daughter. Then made the comment about how he got into the building, which was the landlord letting him in and dropped the comment that he's got to come back later to talk to the landlord and his daughter again.

That confused me. What does that have to do with me?

Wait it gets weirder.
He asked if I had ever been to Ottawa. No why? That's where he's from. And then went into a long description of the city. I wanted to ask if he was a tour guide or something but did not. Just kept looking at his eyes. But the really odd part, he moved closer to me, to go over the new bill and contract.

Why didn't he just hand it to me? No clue.

Was this something or just a really good sales man?

So my intuition is really messed up. What were the vibes this morning really telling me?

Where is your Devotion?

2010-02-10T15:08:00.002-05:00

Originally posted on my main blog on Feb 10th 2010

I rented a movie last night from iTunes Canada, Mistress of Spices. They had a bunch of romantic movies on special because of this weekend being Valentines.

Mistress of Spices is about a woman who has learned the art of herbs and their healing properties. When she meets a man who she falls in love with, she is forced to choose between her life so far and what he represents.

Of course I cried through the whole movie.

You realize right off the bat that the spices are her religion. It's where her faith lays. I think I cried as much for the love story part as I did for the realization that I have no such devotion.
I never have.
For me, the only thing that would come even sort of close would be writing. But still, there has not been one thing I have devoted myself to with such comfort and strength as the character in this story has. Yes it was one of those movies that makes you stop and think and check in with your soul. I hate it when that happens. I signed up for a sweet little romance with a for sure happy ending, instead I ended up with spiritual gut check.

There is a scene in this film where the lead character is in her shop praying in front of her alter asking the spices for advice. That nailed me to the quick. I have been Pagan now for 22 years, and have studied different spiritual paths just enough to be able to blend together my own path.
But, nothing over the years have given me anything solid that I feel I belong to.

Follow me.

I have never given myself over in total devotion to any one path. I find it simply fascinating when other people do, no matter what religion or spiritual path they follow.
When I meet people who are devoted wholly to something, I am always left in awe and wishing I could be that way.

This movie in very much in line with other magick-food movies like; Like Water for Chocolate, Simply Irresistible, Chocolat, Ramen Girl and Woman on Top. Which I have to say, above all are my favourite genre films. Movies that mix cooking with magick. Cause in the end, that's all it is really, recipes and spells are the same thing. It's what you put into them when making them that counts.

Empowering Your Life with Wicca by Sirona Knight

2010-01-21T19:01:00.004-05:00

I've had this one for a few years now, and have to admit, at first I didn't much care for it.
But, over the course of the last year, since working with other venues of the Law of Attraction, I have found myself coming back to this one.

I am a firm believer in things coming into your life when you need it most. I am starting to think this book came to me a bit earlier then I was truly ready for it.

This volume will walk you through identifying your goals, planning how to make them real and the actual manifestation of them.

It has a little more punch then just the Law of Attraction, and does keep to the Wiccan religion.

What's your level of witchdom

2010-01-02T09:49:00.009-05:00

The series is over. Or is it? We know it's been canceled, but fans are causing a stir so here's hoping we create enough fuss it gets picked up again by someone.

The show was scheduled for 13 episodes this first season, they played 1-10 straight then skipped 11 and 12 going right to 13.
So story lines got wrapped up and with the flashbacks in episode 13 you figured out enough to fill you in on the missing two episodes. I already have this on my DVD wish list for when it gets a release and praying the two missing episodes are part of it.

Okay so I opened with the topic of the show. Which for those of you who missed it, it is about 3 women who discover they have magickal abilities when they are together and they without realizing it call a fourth member to them.

Wiccans will tell you there is strength in numbers and that is why spells have more power when you work with a partner or in a coven.

This is true for all magick no matter what path you practice.

Many will argue thou what is a true witch and what is not. If you've read any of my other blogs, you most likely have come across the name Viva-Loco Homegirl Esq. one of the girls that worked for hardcore Vamps Prods., few years back. VLHE is one of the most powerful natural witches I have ever known. And I have know enough witches in my life.
She wishes and it happens. She dances and it rains. She was studying Shamanism about ten years ago. Her life took a very different spin over the last few years, but her natural abilities did not waver.

I was recently thinking about how nice it would be to hang out with her again. Even blogged about one of our adventures few weeks ago on my main blog. Within a few days I bumped into her at the mall. I had lost touch with her 3 years before so it was a strange thing after all this time. She simply said she knew I was missing her and with it being the holidays the mall was the fastest way to find me again. True that.

My friend the High Priestess is even stronger still.

When I am in contact with either of them, my abilities are a notch higher. One of the conversations I have had with both of them at different times in the past is what makes a witch a witch?
Who should be calling themselves witches? Should Wiccans be called witches? Should environmentalists who do not use magick but call themselves pagans be called witches? Should goths who are wiccan be called witches? Should people who only claim to use white magick be called witches? It's one of those chats that no one will win and it might even come to fists.

I have said before I consider myself a Spellcaster because all my knowledge has been from reading books and working as if in a lab with trial and error. None of my natural abilities continued after my car accident (different topic for another time)
Can I make it rain ? No.
Can I wish it and have it happen? Not any more.
Can I tell when someone is about to come into my life? Yes but not the fine details.
Can I Jedi Mind Move things? No but I have seen people who have and I am very jealous.

So in the grand system of magick, what's your level of witchdom? If you are anything like me, you are happy to refer to the characters in Eastwick and just say you are one of them.

Are you ready

2009-12-31T15:22:00.005-05:00

I believe greatly in signs.
I was given Arielle Ford's Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lover as a gift from a friend last year when I needed it, and this year I was given The Soulmate Secret also as a gift, right when I needed it.

I have been banging my head against the wall for a really long time trying to understand why at 35 I am still single, why I have not found the One.

From reading the Soulmate Secret, I realized, I am not ready. There is still things in my life that I have not dealt with that I need to.

So, I couldn't help but wonder, what do I need to deal with?

My answer, my book and my apartment. My book has been a series of frustrations and disappointments for the last few months, and my apartment, well am hunting for a new place.
Today is New Years Eve, great time to look at things and try to make fresh starts.

I have also been spending today watching Sex and the City. Given the fact the second movie comes out in a few months, I have been trying to find a way to bring the elements of the show back into my life. That might be confusing if you don't read my other blog and the SATC posts I have done in the past.

But it's been one of those days, were I have been drawn to the show knowing there is something I am suppose to pick up on from it.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince -Review

2009-12-24T16:27:00.003-05:00

This is one of the challenges for the All Pagan/Witch Challenge. (#4 on my challenge list)

I rented the film and watched it. I'll do this as best I can without giving spoilers.

First off, it had been over a year since I had seen the other films in this series and was starting to think I missed an episode.

Plot: Harry is introduced to a former Professor that holds some important information that can help his mentor defeat Voldemort. He is asked to spy on the professor until the secret is uncovered. In the meantime, the potions class has learned to make lovespells which begin to add innocent chaos to the class. The Death Eaters have started to train a new member in the dark arts and are getting ready for the return of Voldemort.

I thought that it was interesting that they focused on talismans and spell books more in this one, with a scene that showed how a simple spell can cause extreme results even with the most base intentions (a love spell gone wrong) lending itself as both a bit of comedy and a metaphor for first love.
The idea that things are not always as they seem, that they are not always black and white threaded itself throughout this film. It's subplot was choice and identity. What we do in our daily lives that we can still live with ourselves for.
One of the main characters is given a task that in the end he can not go through with, even though he's used greed to further himself to the end point, when he has to face his last pace he backs down because of his own disgust. Disgust in himself.

Oppss

2009-12-21T07:23:00.002-05:00

I came in to post, and noticed some of the older stuff had gone missing.
Sorry about that. It seemed a couple of posts that I had cut and pasted from my other blog didn't take to the colour change when I updated everything.
I think I restored everything.

Let's decode this shall we

2009-12-17T23:28:00.005-05:00

So there is this guy on Myspace, and let me say, I avoid Myspace as much as possible. Anyway, I subscribe to his blog and when I went to go read it, I got this weird feeling that almost made me sick to my stomach. I could not get out of there fast enough.
Which is the odd part, as I've never had a bad vibe from him before. I don't know if he was sick when he wrote it and it was coming through, or if the people who had commented on his post had negative intentions or what the deal is, but it worried me.

Psychic connections are a fickle thing to begin with.
I have been trying to sort this all out over the last few years, but I get deeper and deeper entangled with others to the point I don't know sometimes where my emotions end and theirs begins.

I have been getting stronger and more frequent emotions from other people in the last few months. Visions, dreams and flashes of things that make little to no sense. Only once I have talked to someone does half of the stuff make sense.

So what was the sick feeling tonight? Was it anything important? Or was it just were so many people are on Myspace that it was overload?

Results not included

2009-12-16T12:56:00.002-05:00

Last summer I was reading a forum post in a pagan site I am part of. The person was talking about a spell they used and their results.
I decided to see what it would do for me. 5 months later I am still waiting. I know there is no time frame for a spell, some work faster then others, and some you need to do more then once.
But, there have been 2 other people in this 5 months time frame who on that forum both said they used this spell and got results within a few weeks.
Since I followed the "recipe" to the letter, I would have to guess I either have a bigger hurdle to get past or else the results were so subtle I missed it.
This was one of those spells where timing is everything, and I won't have the chance to try it again for another few months.

What do I say to that?

2009-12-11T23:08:00.006-05:00

On one of my many other blogs, I did a post the other week about a wrestler. Nothing odd there. It was a new wrestler that I developed a sudden crush on. Still, not that odd for me. This post was viewed by someone who's energy signature left some heavy waves. Logging in right after they had to the post, I had the feeling of hurt feelings, like they had been feeling as if they'd walked in and found me cheating on them. The word betrayed flashed at me, and I was left wanting to cry.

Was this energy impression from one of my two favourite wrestlers that I always write about? Or was it my soulmate who read it? Could have been either, or both.

All I know is that I have never felt such disappointment come through like that. I've been sitting on this for the last week and a half, and even asked two other Empaths what they thought of it. One agreed that they were feeling the hurt feelings coming through, they even said it felt like there was more then one man who's feelings were hurt by the post. That would make sense, in a very twisted way, if it was my soulmate who read it.

I 'm confusing you now, but that's alright it's a confusing topic. Soulmates and TwinFlames depending on who you talk to, are the same thing or totally different. Both are said to be your other half. Some people believe you have more then one soulmate, but only one twinflame. Some believe it's the other way around.

I believe you have one twinflame and one or two soulmates in a lifetime. I also believe you have a lifemate. You're lifemate might not be your soulmate.

So who was it that read my blog post the other week leaving such a heartbroken energy? My soulmate? My lifemate? My twinflame? or just a celebrity who has a crush on me ?
I do not apologize for my feelings. And unless the guy is going to claim me as his, there is no reason for me to. But if they are that strong then he should claim me before it's too late in this life.

The Empress and Queen of Pentacles cards

2009-12-11T16:25:00.001-05:00

Originally posted on my Andrew and the Aluminumsidings blog on Dec 7th 2009

The Empress : Fruitful, action, initiative, length of days, the unknown, natural, emotional and material abundance, femininity, creative and physical growth, intuitive emotions, protective love, a happy marriage, domestic stability, wealth, harmony, strength after an illness, natural course of events that proves beneficial.
The Goddess card. The Mother card. The foreshadowing of a baby.

Queen of Pentacles : Gifts, a good marriage, greatness of soul, opulence, generosity, liberty, security, birth, mother, an independent woman who is interested in the creative arts.

These two cards have been showing up lately in my readings. The two are connected, as both are material/physical manifestation cards and both represent motherhood.

I can't go into what my readings were about, but I can tell you that I was shocked to get these cards. And to add to this, images that have been coming to me in other forms. Eggs and Flowers.
Two more symbols connected to motherhood.

What's going on here? I have gotten the hint that the goddesses are tapping me on the shoulder with the ever present fact cats and bears keep popping up in my life. Cats being the totem for the goddess Bast and Bears being the totem for the goddess Artemis. I have been trying to balance my life with more domestic roles but seems I'm not doing a good enough job to make them happy.

For those who have been reading this blog on a regular basis, you know every once and awhile I post about a tarot card that is haunting me. The consent presence as of late of the two major motherhood cards has bothered me.
That has never been a path I have ever chosen. But again, this could be pointing to pure creativity. In which case they would make sense as the book is the big thing in my life right now. Getting the book finished and published.

Let's hope that's all the Goddesses are trying to do for me.

Knight of Swords

2009-11-22T13:28:00.002-05:00

Intent, hunger, romantic, creative, poet, being on the edge but not ready to take the leap, take the direct approach, you have picked your direction and made your choice but you have not taken the first step.

Connected to the air element and zodiacs of Gemini, Libra, Aquarius.

So I did a reading and the Knight of Swords came up in my 8th card position which in a classic Celtic Spread is the area of "environment" or the "right now what you are doing" spot.

I am an Aries, a Fire sign element, yet the Swords seem to be my suit. The suit I pull more times then not in a reading.

I felt the need to mention this after having just posted the Farscape Factor post, where I talked about feeling torn.

The Farscape Factor

2009-11-22T10:17:00.006-05:00

I used screen capture for this post

In season 3 of Farscape, episode Dog with Two Bones the lead character has to face his fears.
I have struggled with this episode more then once, it's by far my favourite in the series, and the one that hits me the hardest every time I watch it.
It' s the final episode for season 3, tying up some old storylines, but introducing both new ones and new characters.
An end and a beginning. And the wheel keeps turning. Death, loss, birth, rebirth, etc.

The lead character is feeling the weight of his friends moving on in their lives, following their own paths while he is stuck with nowhere to go, literally. As his space ship runs out of fuel and he's trapped, barely floating along.
Isolation.
And a moment of clarity comes to him as he sits alone, having named his fear and made his choice.

As the title of the episode suggests, he has two paths he can follow, the shinny one the dream or the solid one the reality. Does he continue to hope for his ultimate perfect ideal, or does he just live in the moment and be happy with what he already has?
They can't be combined, they can't be merged, at lest not without sacrifice. He chooses to live in the moment with what he already has, and realizes it's truly what he wants anyway. He makes the leap of faith and takes the risk. Only, what he wants is not inline at that point with what everyone else wants.

Fate has made him wait.

It's a hard episode for me to deal with because of what it stirs up in me. The first time I saw this episode it seemed to mirror what I was going through at that point in my life, a choice that ended in isolation. This episode popped up again in my life awhile later with a different situation that seemed to fit in with one of the subplots running through it, that of picking your truth from your fears. Intuition. Now, it has popped up again, at a time when I am not sure if I am even on the right path in my life. I have two different desires that are both so strong in me as to what road I want to travel in my life and they can't be combined, they can't be merged, not even with sacrificing something.

One of the main themes in this episode is meditation. Looking inside yourself and asking the real tough questions.

And that my friends is just one part of the Farscape Factor.

I think the sparrows are flying again

2009-11-20T00:09:00.003-05:00

In the book the Dark Half by Stephen King, when the hero is about to have an attack, he sees sparrows.
In Twin Peaks, just before the bad guy appears there is an owl.
Both are mystical birds that are connected to the underworld. I should have heeded their warnings.
Seems I have made the gods of war angry. Ares, I believe is laughing and taunting me. Why do I say that? Because all that I have been dealing with for the last month has been fights, anger, greed and pointless destruction.
All signs of war. Now they say things come in three. Which is very true. And in the course of a month, I have had three people start three situations with me. I hope the gods have had their fun with me and that my run of bad luck is over.
Two ended fairly quiet, with little to no mass destruction, but the third one got way over the top.
And why ?
Best we can figure the first two were power shakers. The third was an empty pit of hate. For me, for my friends, for themself.

Has this all been a test laid upon me by the gods?
Sure why not.
Did I pass?
I'm still standing. So I suppose.

This is a test

2009-11-19T19:48:00.002-05:00

This is a test of the emergency blogging system, had this been an actual blog, the words that follow would be utter nonsense and make little to no sense.

This concludes this test.

We now return you to your normally scheduled blog.

When the water calls

2009-11-18T10:54:00.003-05:00

In 2004 I stumbled across the movie Shipping News.
The day I watched it, was a day I got a massive AH-A moment in my life. I then fell into a section of my life that would cause change to my very core.
The ripples are still being felt five years later.

I did not get my hands on a copy of the original book until a year ago. Things have kept me from reading it until now.

I have been saying for years I want to return to Newfoundland and settle down. There are so many things keeping me from this desire. At some point I am hoping to before I am too old to do so.

But this book, there is something about this story that keeps tugging at me.
The Goddess Bast is a dual one. Both a sun and moon goddess. I know that seems like a very odd thing to bring up when talking about Newfoundland, but it will make sense in a few minutes. We all have dual selves.

In my case, my domestic side and my artist side are fighting for the top spot of "ultimate desire".
If I give in to one dream, I will have to end up moving to a big city and completely delve into the whole big company rat race.
If I give in to one dream, I will have to end up moving to a small cove and completely delve into the whole domestic skills.

I have no idea how to make these sides of myself balance.
How to follow both my dreams when they are at such odds with themeselves.

When you can't connect

2009-11-17T16:38:00.003-05:00

I was watching Practical Magic, which is one of my all time favourite movies.
The idea that two sisters who are so different but so similar. I get that. My own sister is my total shadow.
I have watched my sister and her best friend have this sort of mystical shorthand over the years, a silent connection that I have never had with her. Or anyone for that matter.
I watch as my friend the High Priestess and her husband have the same mystical shorthand. Hell, my favourite tag team has this mystical shorthand.
Wither it be a best friend or a lover, seems everyone around me has been able to make that connection.
Maybe because I have never had a best friend, I have no idea how to connect.

Now connection with the universe is an important thing in magick.
I realized that my frustration as of late with my rituals not working at all, has to do with that. A lack of connection.
Few years back, I worked off and on with friends in a sort of make-shift coven. Every thing we did came to pass strongly and quickly.
Nothing I have done since being on my own, away from that group of people, living on my own, being single has worked.

If I have lost my mystical strength by finding my independence will I be able to get my ability back?
Will I be able to ever connect again with anyone?

All Pagan/Witch Challenge

2009-10-30T11:47:00.006-04:00

Pagan Girl has decided to have an All Pagan/Witch Challenge which is being hosted on both her ning site Online Pagan Project and her Blogger blog Pagan Girl

It's a 10 month challenge running from Yule (Dec 21 2009 till Oct 21 1010)

I am going to give it a shot. Here is my list

1) Re-read Practical Magic for review and compare to movie

2) Re-read Witches of Eastwick (it's been over 15 years since I read it)

3) Read Ascension Magick by Christopher Penczak (it's a text book and very heavy)

4) Locate a witch themed movie I have never seen and review it.

5) Read the sequel to Practical Magic (have no idea what the book is called)

6) Redo my alter

7) Listen to a Pagan podcast/radio show I have never been a follower of before

8) Finish the L.J. Smith Night World collection with a review on the witches/pagans in her series.

9) Find and read another Young Adult book with a witch/pagan theme

10) Do a review on the pagan/witch themes in the original 1983 tv series Robin of Sherwood

My Alternative List incase I have issues:

* Do a review on the series Buffy in regards to the way Magick is used throughout

* Do a review on the series Angel in regards to the way Magick is used throughout

* Watch a documentary on any Pagan/Occult/Vodun etc path and do a review on it

* Watch Serpent and the Rainbow and do a review on it

*Re-write my witch novel I originally wrote back in 1997

Tarot Lessons

2009-10-13T20:35:00.001-04:00

Friend of mine has started some video tarot lessons. Here is a basic tarot spread.

Witches of Eastwick

2009-10-10T20:02:00.007-04:00

Posted originally on my other blog

From best selling book to movie to television show, what is it about these characters that has kept us spellbound for over 20 years? I read the novel back in the mid 1990's and could not put it down. And I still came away thinking that the movie was better. Rarely does that ever happen.

I was looking forward to the second book last spring, only to be disappointed. Still I could not put the book down till I finished reading it. Here is my review of it

I have always loved the film version . And after only two weeks of the new television show, I am hooked on the basic plot once again. The television so far has pulled from the book's mythology but has enough new material to be a stand alone show. In other words, you do not need to have read the books or seen the movie to understand what is going on. For those who have seen the movie, from 1986/87 will find one cast member returning to the new show. Veronica Cartwright plays Bun on the new ABC show, which is a character very close to her movie role of Felicia which I thought was a great twist and way to link the two.

True Happiness or a Connection

2009-09-29T11:56:00.005-04:00

In 2004 I was in this relationship. I was with two of my closest friends at the time (they were a couple) and we were out for the evening at a wrestling event.
I knew I was going to see my then boyfriend after the event and was feeling alittle lonely watching the couple interact while we stood in line outside the building, waiting for the doors to open. The guy I was seeing at that time worked in a bar and we were set to go there after the wrestling.

The show was set to start at 7pm, with doors opening at 630.

A few minutes after we got inside and sat down, I had this feeling of dizziness. I put it off as being the energy from the crowd and thought nothing else of it. There was a single camera across the ring from our seats. It had my attention for a few minutes as I wondered who was taping the show.
My friends were not wrestling fans, and were only there with me because I did not want to go alone.

I started to feel like someone was watching me, which I put off to the fact we were front row and there was a video camera less then twenty feet across from us. The dizzy feeling heightened to a feeling of extreme hyperness then became a fog. I could not shake the idea I was being watched.

Midway through the evening the tag teams came out. Everything became a mass of confusion. I remember only one thing, there was one wrestler who I felt was staring at me.
My eyes were locked on him. The hyperness and fog became a feeling of total bliss.
The match ended and everything came back to normal for me. I have no idea who he was. The speakers in the building were too loud and the announcer's voice had been muffled.
We went on to the bar that night after the show and I was jarred stupid. I had forgotten all about the man I was dating. It was as if he did not exist for the two hours we were at the show.
I had not yet bought a digital camera and was still using one with rolled film. None of the photos we took at the wrestling event turned out. That was 9 photos on a roll of 24 that mysteriously were damaged when the roll was developed.
I do not remember what the wrestler looked like. Only the feeling that he was staring at me.
This was the night of May 9 2004 in Thunder Bay.

Looking back on that night I have to wonder if that was a sign from the universe telling me that the man I was with was not the man I had believed him to be? I had believed he was my soulmate, and that the relationship would turn into marriage. How stupid I was, as he was cheating on me the entire year we were together.

I have since wondered if the feeling I had that night was pointing me to the right guy, and I just not smart enough to realize it, or if it was something else?

I may never know.
One thing is for sure, whatever the universe's plan for me is; they woke me up from my self imposed dream that night by showing me the relationship I was in at that time was a bad one. That that boyfriend was not the one I am meant to be with.

Flesh for Fantasy

2009-06-27T18:22:00.001-04:00

My bed keep shaking. Which if I were dating someone it may or may not be cause for alarm. But it shakes without anyone being near it. I believe in the supernatural. And to me this means a few things.

It means that something is trying to communicate or crossover and is wanting to use my room as a portal. It means that I have an Incubus. It means my last boyfriend could be trying to astral project here.

If I am careful about doing magick in my bedroom then how could a portal be opening? Well, stupid me was watching a documentary on Crowley in my bedroom and in the documentary they pronounced a ritual to open the doorway. One of Crowley's gates.

I have had nightmares before about a demon. Now all I can say is if things get alittle Exorcist-y then I don't know what I will do.

originally posted on GingerRoot June 3 2009

Ask Ardeth

2009-06-08T22:11:00.003-04:00

Time to dig into the fang mail for another batch of emails from beyond the grave.
Welcome to an overdue issue of "Ask Ardeth" Where anything that can be thought of to ask will be answered by my horror film Heavy Metal Goddess alter ego Ardeth Blood.

Dear Ardeth:

My boyfriend left me for another girl. I love him and want him back, could you give me a love spell? I understand that you are a witch and know how to use magic. Please. Please. Please. I will pay you.

Desperate in Moose Jaw.

Dear Desperate in Moose Jaw:

You don't want to do that. Trust me on this one. Once a cheater always a cheater, and you deserve better then that.
First off, I am not a "witch" as much as I am a little more then normal.
Second, if he left you for someone else, do you really truly want to go through that again? The trust is lost and trust is the cornerstone of relationships. I have never understood why any woman would "fight" for a man who cheated on them? It makes no sense at all. He's not worth getting back, he's not worth your desperation. Or your tears, or your sleepless nights. If he was lousy enough to walk out on you then let her deal with his crap and be thankful you don't have to anymore.
Third, any witch/spellcaster/priestess etc who charges you for a spell that does not own an Occult store is ripping you off. Most ingredients can be found in your home, garden or grocery. The real magick is in your desire for the outcome.
Fourth, if you really want to do a spell for love/sex/relationships I suggest you buy either The Salem Witches' Book of Love Spells by Lilith McLelland or Wicca Love Spells by Gerina Dunwich.

That's all the time we have for this one, come back around and see what other gobs of wisdom Ardeth Blood will dish out and serve to her fiends.

You can email Ask Ardeth at hardcorevampsprods@yahoo.ca

This was originally posted on my Andrew and the Aluminumsidings blog on the 4th of June 2009

When all else fails

2009-06-08T22:09:00.001-04:00

Cry. Cry. Cry like you're watching a chick flick.

Yeah, it's been one of those crazy times.

Had some odd things happen last few weeks with a friend of mine. You know, the High Priestess.

Freaked a few people out with a few questions I asked them that I should not have known about them to begin with.

Saw a few things in meditation that has me wondering if I really broke through the next level of things or if I am going mad.

I am going to post an email from someone that was sent to Ask Ardeth. Was alittle shocked and happy too that I finally got some real fan mail and not just my friends being goofballs.

So on to the next post....

May Update More Or Less

2009-05-08T10:49:00.003-04:00

I survived the mass destruction of my mind.

There seems to be something about me as of late where I can't settle myself.

For those of us out there who believe in the idea of alternate realities; I have been having what I referrer to as Wormholes. (big Farscape fan) You know, like in What The Bleep Do We Know when they talk about how we have many realities happening at once and at some point they have to catch up to each other. Yeah, those.

Someone told me that when you get heart palpations it's the universe's way of re-alining a few of those realities.

I was having some breakthroughs with meditation for a few months, now I seem to be right back to being unable to get into a meditative state at all. Like my bubble has been shattered or something.

I have had to just stop all spiritual/religious studies completely this last few months and focus on more mundane parts of myself. Which is messed up enough.

But as we all know everything has to be in total balance for things to work. I am out of balance with myself.

Hoping that once the planets get out of retro in the next month things will get back on track.

I have had 3 tarot readings just this last month alone and all three of them made little to no sense at all, and all done by different people.

The only thing that seems to be constant as of late is the Death card in readings. I know I am at the end of one part of myself and the beginning of the next, its just making that transition that is the confusing part.

Till next time....

Bad Mojo sticks like Zombie Goo

2009-03-18T16:42:00.002-04:00

I am hearing the voice of my friend Viva-Loco Homegirl Esq. saying the best line from the film we were working on few years ago...."eeewww zombie goo!"

All day I have been having very weird vibes. I just can't shake for the life of me. VLHE used to work at Lush here in town. My favourite product was the Mr. Big salt shampoo. And we all know that salt baths help remove clinging energy. So, I did a salt scrub.

The vibes are worse then they were a half hour ago.

I can't seem to pinpoint where they are coming from or how to remove them. Its one of those where the second I got out of the shower and opened the door to the hallway I was over come with the feeling of wanting to vomit. Not good. I have been doing a smudging here every two days for the last while, there should not be this sick vibe clinging to me or my apartment.

Click the Banner You know you want to

2009-01-31T12:51:00.000-05:00

Basic Candle Magick

2008-12-26T12:01:00.002-05:00

Black: Meditation, hexwork, uncrossing, spells to banish evil or negativity.

White: Consecration, meditation, divination, exorcism, truth, lunar energy and spells for healing,

Red: Fertility, aphrodisiacs, sex, lust, love, health, strength, revenge, anger, courage

Pink: Love and friendship

Yellow: Confidence, attraction, charm and persuasion.

Green: Fertility, success, good luck, prosperity, money, ambition and to counter greed/jealousy.

As found in the Wicca Spellbook by Gerina Dunwich

Silenced

2008-12-07T11:19:00.002-05:00

So I am hanging around a major movie review place, checking out their groups lists, and everyone of the Pagan/Wicca groups have been "removed" meanwhile there are at lest 30 Christian groups that are allowed to run.
Given the amount of movies on this planet that are magick related shouldn't we have a say?

New Wave of New Age CDs

2008-11-20T16:09:00.002-05:00

I recently started to use self meditation cds.

Not sure how I feel about these. Relaxing, yes, but I don't know if it is just me or if the cds are not as good as they are said to be.

One was a past life meditation cd that was suppose to help put you into a state where you would recall past lives. Either it does not work or I am just unable to be hypnotized.

The second was for Chakra work. Once again either it doesn't work or else I am just unable to be hypnotized.

Mabon

2008-09-22T10:37:00.003-04:00

A Sabbat that falls between September 20-23, depending on your area of the world.

Also known as the Autumn Equinox. It is the second harvest festival fallowing Lughnassadh and before Samhain. This is the balance to the Spring Equinox. This is a corn feast and is the origins of Thanksgiving.

Witches True Encounters with Wicca Wizards Covens Cults and Magick

2008-09-04T18:03:00.004-04:00

Hans Holzer has done for the topic if Witches what J.Gordon Melton did for Vampires, and that is manage to collect first hand interviews and essays to complete an encyclopedia.

Packed full with history on terms, ethics, paths and spells this volume gives even a beginner the history that is sorely lacking in many modern witches lives.

The Devil's Notebook

2008-07-31T09:21:00.004-04:00

I have been trying to read this book for about 6 months now, and given it is under 200 pages I should have been finished it in one afternoon, but everytime I pick it up someone drops by or calls. It is as if there is some force not wanting me to read these essays.

What I have read of it is enlightening, humorous, truthful and thought provoking.

Don't let the title fool you, this is more then just sidenotes this is a collection of articles that make you think. Better then any of the self help books out there.

Survey Says

2008-07-23T16:27:00.004-04:00

In one of my Yahoo groups there is an Otherkin survey going around.
To be honest I am not sure how I feel about it. I have read alot of the replies from people and have even taken the test myself. Some of the answers are very true and others {like anything in a public group} are totally formulaic and what you would expect them to say.
Okay, with that said, what is the real purpose to these types of tests?
Is it to see how many out there exist or how many out there are picking up on one small branch of things and running with it?
Hard to say.
The Occult world has always been one of mixed results. Somethings are too unbelievable not to be the truth and somethings are just too.

For those who might not know what the term Otherkin means; it is simply someone who is otherwise not completely human. Some draw the line at just Shapeshifters ,others like myself also have the Vampire in this term.
So why did I bring this all up? Because when I took the test myself it caused me to really rethink who or what I am. Some of my own answers had me wondering about myself.

Am I who/what I think I am or am I not?

Becareful what you wish for....

2008-07-15T12:15:00.003-04:00

...and be very wordy.
I had done a simple "Come Hither" spell the other day and got the elusive date I was looking for. Only problem, the dude stood me up.
HHHMMM...guess I zigged when I should have zagged.
I guess next time I try something like that I will remember to add the fine print of "and make sure he shows up"

All I used was a basic red candle and passion flower incense spell.

So I have hit my Frist Degree

2008-06-13T00:49:00.002-04:00

Okay, and that means what ?
I have spent the last year doing 2 courses online one being the Wicca Revealed and the Introduction to Tarot on the Magicka School site.
Not the greatest scores but passing none the less.
I was suppose to be getting certificates when done, but for whatever reason they won't download. No biggie.
So then I am as far as the internet is concerned a First Degree Witch.
So, now what?
What does that mean as far as being Pagan?
Not a whole lot actually. So why do it?
Still havent figured that part out .

Southern Fried Theories

2008-06-07T12:28:00.002-04:00

Last night my discussion group broke out the conspiracy theories in regards to the 13 Crystal Skulls. This lead to much ideas being tossed back and forth about Egypt, the pyramids, the rain-forest, missing link and one's animal sides.
Our group was split almost evenly with half being pro-space theories and half being pro-demonology theories. Both agreeing on one thing, the time to unlocking things is fast approaching.
A very famous quote is "forgetting the past is cause to relive it". If that is true, then are we doomed to fall prey to our destruction as early man did millions of years ago along with the dinosaurs ?
As someone interested in comparative religions, I can't help but wonder if it is indeed a mix of all religions that hold the key to what we humans seek?

A few incenses

2008-06-04T00:34:00.004-04:00

When doing rituals related to certain times/planets use pepperwort or frankincense for Saturn
nutmeg and cloves for Jupiter
cyprus and balsam for Mars
musk and frankincense for the Sun
roses and saffron for Venus
cinnamon and bayberry for Mercury
bay leaf and myrtle for the Moon

Warlock Triology

2008-06-03T15:34:00.002-04:00

In the late 1980's/early 1990's a movie was released that has become a cult classic. It also single handedly helped to confuse the rest of the world about witchcraft.
Granted, these films are fabulous as a film series goes, but not for showing what we are. The term warlock has been given an even worse rap then it already had, then was stylized to seem like it was a hot label to have. The word itself was originally meant as a way to define one who is an oath breaker and liar. Many people over the years have used it to describe a male witch. But a witch is a witch is a witch, male or female.

Warlock : Set in both the times of the Inquisition and modern day, we follow the lead character who is in prisoned for murder and witchcraft. After his escape, he lands on the doorstep of a young woman who holds the first half of a long sought after book. He is also followed through time by a witch hunter. Julian Sands plays the warlock and Richard E Grant plays the hunter

Warlock 2 Armageddon: Reborn in the mid 1990's, the warlock this time is searching for a set of runes that will unlock his father from hell. Two young teens who are infact Druids, are the only thing that stands in his way.

Warlock 3 End of Innocence: In this 1999 release the lead character is now played by Bruce Payne. This floats back and forth between the 1700's and the present. The warlock must find a certain woman who was stolen from him all those centuries before and sacrifice her immortal soul inorder to have her reborn as a dark goddess to help create total chaos.

I found the 3rd installment to be the most interesting as it brought in the idea of modern witchcraft in the form of one minor character who is a Wiccan.

Notes Quotes and other Stuff

2008-06-02T11:48:00.003-04:00

I have been hanging out on a new website and here are a few of my latest blog posts.
My spiritual theories on paganism.

The Seven Layers of the Aura

2008-05-27T10:55:00.004-04:00

Etheric Body/Lower Red

Emotional Body/Lower Emotional Orange

Mental Body/Lower Mental Yellow

Higher Mental Body Green

Spiritual Body/Etheric Template Turquoise

Causal Body/Celestial Body Deep Blue

Ketheric Body/True Self Violet

The Owl's are not what they seem

2008-05-17T10:25:00.002-04:00

Twin Peaks. A person who is into the art of Dream Interpretation finds this a gold mine.
For someone who is following a Mediatic path, this is the corner stone of well everything.
The Owl was used throughout the series and movie in the myth of Twin Peaks.

Owls=punishment, sickness, their hoot was a spiritual sound for it was seen as a call to the spirit world, being able to see in the dark, wisdom, omens, transition, magick and prophecy.
It is associated with Athena (the Virgin Huntress and Goddess of War)
As a totem animal, the owl is said to help reveal secrets and open your intuition.

As many creatures, it is said to be the familiar of magi =which would explain why it was the main symbol in the show used to represent BOB as he ;we find out is the familiar of Mike (the one armed man's double identity) They are also ;from an elemental view, said to be representive of both air and fire, which again would be a good reason they were choosen for the tv show and movie.

Orbs in the pictures

2008-05-15T14:10:00.003-04:00

Here are two photos that I took the other night at Niagara Falls Ontario. One is just the cityscape, the other is my sister Ninja. This is not the first time Ninja has been surrounded by Orbs in photos. They seem to gravitate to her.

copyright hcvp'08

Moon Workings

2008-04-30T18:30:00.003-04:00

Waxing Moon: (new to full) is best for increasing things such as birth, strength, growth, planting, friends, harmony, happiness, and obtaining things and goals, as well as travel ,protection, teaching, bringing weather, and all positive change. It is used too for love magick, and health ,luck and money.
All wish magick, and bringing new ideas into the physical

Wanning Moon: (full to new) is best for decreasing, banishes, or bringing things to an end, anything that needs to be released/reversed, bring death, resurrection, wisdom, healing, maturity, liberation, overcoming, to stop weather, weight loss, for selling real estate, and breaking addictions/habbits and streaks of bad luck. This is when banishings/bindings, and exorcisms are done.

The Wicker Man 1973

2008-04-30T15:00:00.003-04:00

I got my hands on a copy of the original film.
Far superior to the re-make and in two versions itself. In 1973 a very edited version (which I managed to get ahold of) was released, and in 1979 a copy of the director's cut was released.
The original story has a British police officer arriving on the private island looking for a missing girl. The original brings into play the actual storyline of the Pagan community without any kind of mystery.
This version also does not have any of the feminism storyline which in itself was questionable in the remake. As a Hammer film this is as far as possible away from the normal fair you would expect from them.

But You're Wrong

2008-04-30T10:07:00.002-04:00

It happens, misinformation.
What do you do when you come across someone who says something that is the total opposite of what you have been taught in your teachings?
It is a tough one, do you point it out and risk having a full blown fight or even loose their friendship? What is worse is when they get the books or links they got their info from and show you very adamantly that they are right, when you know your books and links say the other.
This happened very recently. I was in a group discussion and when the main speaker mispronounced something I let it slide, but this same person was working moon phase magick and got it backwards. I spoke up and was flat out told I was beyond wrong. There was no let me check or lets compare notes, just a flat you are wrong.
But this got me then to thinking about misinformation in general within the Pagan community. And a hot topic at the moment being the fact one highly paid (little respected) author is giving alot of misinformation in her books. I had not read any of the author's stuff before hearing this argument and had no interest in doing so. That was until the last few weeks. I decided to pick up a copy of one of the author's books and take a look myself. Damn! There is alot of information, but alot of misinformation too. Mostly in the way of only half the information. Not an author I could stand behind or promote.
The real question remains, how do you say to someone they are wrong without causing fur to fly even when you have done your homework?

Read Your Labels

2008-04-28T08:52:00.003-04:00

The New Age (Movement) : is a mix of pieces from older spiritualities. ( Buddhism, Shamanism, Wicca etc) as well as modern science and psychology.
Personaly, I feel that this is more vaild a term for the modern witch then even the term Neo-Pagan.
With the use of modern means more and more people have come to their spirtiual path in the last 20 years then even at the height of the begining of the Wicca movement 50 years ago.

Wicker Man 2006

2008-04-27T01:10:00.004-04:00

Nicholas Cage plays a cop who is unable to save a young mother and her child in a road accident. His next assignment is then to find his own daughter who is reported as missing by his ex girlfriend. He is then lead down a path of lies as he tries to find her, while dealing with a community dominated by the women and where the men are used only for breeding or sacrifices.
This is not creepy or scary in the lest but still listed as a horror film. The unrated cut has one scene that is a little disturbing at the end of the film.

I am not sure how I feel about this movie. It shows Paganism in a twisted and bad light, but also is a nod to feminism.

A Friday in April

2008-04-25T12:54:00.004-04:00

It will take some time getting this up and proper. There is so much to file through as I have books and notes and what not to the roof. This photo was taken by a friend and Wiccan Teacher SomberSky 3 weeks ago in the middle of her living room. The zooming lights around me are spirits.
I am hoping to have her add stuff every so often to this blog, but only time will tell.
Since working with her I have learned some things about myself I would never have thought possible.

copyright SomberSky 2008/hcvp 2008

First Post

2008-04-24T20:39:00.002-04:00

First Post
Still getting things sorted out....tune in shortly...
Blessed Be

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